Nine of the best jokes ever made about Glasgow

Nine of the best jokes ever made about Glasgow

Exciting, friendly and creative, this is the city that makes Irn Bru, Turner-winning artists as well as some of the world’s funny men and women. We don’t know whether it’s the awful weather or decades of grafting that have helped us Glaswegians develop our signature sense of humour – but, whatever it is, we’re delighted that we can make each other laugh each day. Gallus, garrulous and always up for a good-time, Glaswegians always know how to crack a joke, whatever the occasion. Edinburgh may have one of the world’s biggest art festivals – but we reckon our pals down the M8 would have nothing without us providing the jokes! Here are just some belters about Glasgow from some of the city’s best loved comedians. Have we missed any of your favourite punchlines? Let us know in the comments! “Edinburgh and Glasgow: same country, very different cities. In Edinburgh, when a gun goes off, it’s one o’clock.” – Kevin Bridges “Glasgow is a very negative place. If Kanye was born in Glasgow, he would have been called No You Cannae.” – Frankie Boyle “Three of us went to a fancy dress party in Glasgow last night dressed as a giant sandwich. We managed to make it home in one piece” – Sanjeev Kohli Get all the latest updates on restaurants and bars reopening and more from Glasgow sent straight to your inbox every week signing up to our free Food & Drink newsletter. The email update arrives at around 6pm every Thursday evening and is manually curated by our team, bringing you everything you need to know about the city's food and drink scene as lockdown starts to ease. “In Glasgow, ‘how’ means ‘why’? You do not ponder why. You demand HOW?” – Kevin Bridges “My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child … well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.” – Susan Murray “Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common. they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.” – Frankie Boyle “I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing, so get yourself a sexy raincoat and live a little. ” – Billy Connolly “Give me a quid, or you're getting stabbed.” I thought – quite reasonable.” – Kevin Bridges “We had the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. A great choice of venue: a place where people think Hepatitis B is a vitamin” – Frankie Boyle
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Neena Gupta opens up on ‘professional betrayal’ after her show ‘Saans’ got canned, says ‘thought …

Neena Gupta is probably one of the few actresses who are not only good at acting but they have an amazing sense of humour too. A few days back, Neena released her memoir, titled ‘Such Kahun Toh’ wherein she reveals several interesting details about her life. Neena has recently revealed that she felt bad after her show, ‘Saans’ was abruptly ended by the channel. Neena had written, directed and acted in ‘Saans’ which also starred actors Kanwaljit Singh and Kavita Kapoor. The show ran from 1998 to 1999. Neena was asked in an interview if she felt ‘professionally betrayed’ by how the show cancelled. While speaking to The Quint, she said, “Yes, it was conveyed very badly to me. And something else was promised to me, and they did something else. I’m okay, if my programme is not doing well and you promised me these many programmes and you want to remove… I’m Okay, because things change. But there is a decency.” She added, “I have worked with you for years, I gave you the ‘hittest’ programme on television at that time. I’ve always been good to you, I’ve treated you very well. What do I expect in return? To be treated properly. That’s it. There is a way to say, ‘Ma’am, your thing is not working.’ So that was a very bad thing, which I didn’t like. And then I realised that it was again my mistake, because I thought this guy had become my friend. But he was not my friend. I was their top director, so he was very good to me.” Neena Gupta’s autobiography ‘Sach Kahun Toh’ was launched virtually by Kareena Kapoor Khan on June 14 and it has been making headlines since. Neena has made several revelations in the book about her life, her pregnancy, her past relationships and the loneliness she experiences in her prime years and thereafter. In the book, Neena even revealed that Satish Kaushik had offered to marry her but she turned it down. The book will take readers through Neena’s journey from her time at the National School of Drama (NSD) to moving to Bombay (Mumbai) in the 80s and being a single parent to daughter, Masaba Gupta . Additionally, the autobiography will also touch upon topics like film industry politics, the casting couch, and also what it takes for a young actor to survive without a godfather in the Hindi film industry.
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Laughing through lockdown: why comedy is vital in a crisis

We’ve spent a significant amount of time joking about Zoom meetings, hand-washing songs, and home…
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