The Yorkshire Post turns 266 today – here's a message from our editor to you

The Yorkshire Post turns 266 today – here’s a message from our editor to you

Pile of cobbles found on Yorkshire beach could be all that remains of lost lighthouse, says author …
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Rebecca Black Apologizes For Holocaust Joke She Made At 16-Years-Old With Shane Dawson

Rebecca Black is owning up to an insensitive joke she took part in when she was a teenager. Black&#…
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International Joke Day: 20 jokes only Glaswegians will understand

It's International Tell A Joke Day… And it's safe to say we could all use a laugh in these difficult times. It's no secret Glasgow is known for its down-to-earth, no-nonsense sense of humour… and even if you're not hitting out with the patter 24/7, the accent usually makes everything sound that wee bit funnier anyway. So: We asked our lovely readers some of their favourite Glaswegian jokes. We'll be honest with you, a lot of them were terrible and some we just couldn't publish. But we've got a selection of groan-worthy gags, howlers and the odd classic thrown in to the mix – and let us know in the comments if you can come up with better! 1. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography? Oor Wullie. 2. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist. “Govan,” she replies. 3. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan. 4. Caragh OMuireadhaigh: How can you tell the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings and Walt Disney. 6. Betty McInnes: Heard about the sequel to Silence of the Lambs? Shut It Ewes. 7. Jamie Westwood: A woman walks into the bakers, points and says “Is that a donut or a meringue?” He said “Naw you're right hen, its a donut.”  8.  Sir James: What did the fish say when he swam into the back of the bus? McGills! 9. Elaine MacMillan: Did you hear about the leak in the Clyde Tunnel? …It fell off the back of a vegetable lorry! 10. Stevie Campbell: What do you call a Glasgow guy who is nearly home? Hamish 11. Carole Fraser: Teacher asks “Can anyone give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it?” Johny puts his hand up, my cardigan has nine buttons, but i can only fasten eight. 12. Robert Gilchrist: Where was John Wayne born? Glasgow. all the weans are born in Glasgow. 13. Aileen Johnstone: Paddy and Mick are in Mick's house after the pub Paddy said: “What's that brass plate on your wall for?” “That's for telling the time,” Mick said. “How can that plate tell the time?” Mick picks up a stick and whacks it and a voice from next door says 'For God's sake, it's two in the morning!” 14. John Kelly: What do you call a superhero from Glasgow? Quality man 15. Murray Nix: Two lions walking up Sauchiehall Street. One lion turns to the other and says “Not a lot of people around for a Saturday afternoon, Leo.” 16. Jim Brown: Ten cows in a field, which one is on holiday? The one wi the wee calf 17. Michael Devlin: Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow? Because if it walked, it'd get jumped! 18. Nancy Morrison: Who is the Hollywood star named after a Glasgow football team? Tom Selleck 19. Did you hear about the lonely prisoner? He was in his cell. 20. In a Glasgow classroom, the teacher asks a student, “If you have £5, and I ask to borrow £2, how many pounds do you have left?” “£5.”
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